anybody who’s ever watched the jerry springer show knows just how much of a joke it is. back when the show first started, the episode themes were still outlandish yet somewhat believable. now, though, notsomuch. they’ve added puppets and mexican wrestlers to the show for the effect, and they play music when people are fighting now. of course, these fights aren’t the outrageous, bloody fights of the mid-90’s, but there are still lots of angry words, fists, articles of clothing, and mens gold watches flying everywhere.

when i was 11, my mom and i used to watch this show every day. i remember one day, she was outside watering the plants, and the show was starting. so i opened my window and shouted to her, “MAMA, JERRY’S ON!!!” and she scolded me, saying, “do NOT scream that! i don’t want the neighbors to know we watch that junk!” hahaha.

this show was one of the few exciting cable discoveries i made when i moved to valdosta 2 years ago. jerry springer is utterly ridiculous, but i guess it never grows old with me.

Originally published at skankage.com. Please leave any comments there.

If it weren’t for your maturity, none of this would have happened
If you weren’t so wise beyond your years, I would’ve been able to control myself
If it weren’t for my attention, you wouldn’t have been successful and
If it weren’t for me, you would never have amounted to very much

We’ll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you’ve washed your hands clean of this

Originally published at skankage.com. Please leave any comments there.

Originally published at skankage.com. Please leave any comments there.

ever since i was a little girl, i’ve been fascinated with this structure, so you can imagine my surprise and amusement when i found it online. there’s a castle in lexington, kentucky, and i’ve seen it every christmas since i was little. i used to be convinced a very rich couple lived there, and then i found out later that it was deserted. kind of sad, eh? now it’s being renovated and used for events and a lush bed and breakfast, according to their official site. i’ve always wondered what the inside looked like, so imagine my delight when i found wikipedia linked to photos of the interior of the kentucky castle. excitement. =) haha.

Originally published at skankage.com. Please leave any comments there.

…that made pete so funny. he had the greatest sense of humor, and his intelligence definitely added to his wit. i doubt i could ever compile all the things pete’s ever said to me that made me laugh because there are just way too many…but in the meanwhile, i give you this one thing i just found from an old blog entry made back in june of 2004:

a bit of advice: if you ever plan on watching titanic and taking it seriously, do NOT do so with pete and nicole around.

“so what if they cut to the next scene and it’s the morning after and rose is STILL blowing the whistle?” -pete

“what if the old lady had trash in one hand and the necklace in the other and she meant to throw the trash into the ocean but she threw the necklace instead?” -pete

those two quotes, although rather off-beat and maybe not even funny to you, made me laugh so hard when i re-read them. oh, lord, i wish i could just squeeze him again.

edit: i know i’ve told this story a zillion times, but i’ll tell it again real quick, because i found the video to go along with it. in davenport’s class, we watched this exact video of oedipus. you’ll need to fast forward this video to the 2:00 part to see EXACTLY what i’m talking about here. so oedipus is staggering around blindly, his eyes dripping blood because he’s cut them out. and the class was dead quiet with near horror of…well, the disgusting idea of gouging your eyes out. and from out of nowhere, pete pipes up, “marco.”

it was one of the funniest moments of my entire life.

the 2:00 mark. the rest is only amusing if you’re weird like me and get your kicks from the chorus.

Originally published at skankage.com. Please leave any comments there.

i posted the following on my blog 6 years ago today:

[9-12-01>>12:41am]
i can’t quit thinking about the crap that happened today [yesterday]. i didn’t really even think much about what this could turn into until now. i wanna drop an atomic bomb on afghanistan’s asses. but then again, i don’t wanna fight more, because it’ll end up in world war 3 and that’s just NOT cool. i seriously am worried about this. i know y’all might think i’m stupid or something, but. god, it’s just so awful. ugh.

*sigh*

and to think that one day, 9/11 will just be an event that occurred in history books, just as people my age see pearl harbor now. the events of that day are so fresh in my mind, i feel like it happened yesterday.

“Stand up, America
Hear the bell now as it tolls
Wake up, America
It’s Tuesday Morning
C’mon. Let’s roll.”

Originally published at skankage.com. Please leave any comments there.

britt posted this on her blog, and i decided to list mine for nostalgia’s sake. i wouldn’t say these are in any particular order, either. i have way too many just to list 6!

1. alphie! alphie was a robot where you put certain cards in his belly, entered their respective code, and answered the educational questions. i loved it. i remember feeling guilty when i sold him at a yard sale years later.

2. fuzzy. i don’t have a picture of fuzzy, but i should probably take one. my aunt beth gave me a stuffed lamb when i was a baby, and my mother named it “fuzzy.” fuzzy slept with me every night until i was about 13, and he came with me to valdosta at 20 years old. he’s not fuzzy anymore, and a lot of my friends make fun of him because of his loved and worn condition, but he’s still the best stuffed animal ever.

3. dress-up clothes my mother made me. i don’t think i’ve ever really thanked her for this. she used to make me the most amazing costumes for halloween, which in turn became dress-up clothes. i was the best-dressed kid on the block. everyone wanted to play dress-up at my house because i had the coolest shit.

4. barbies. need i say more? this also includes my ariel, belle, and jasmine dolls. i was totally stoked when i got that ariel doll. it’s on video, too: “MAMA, SHE HAS LEGS. LOOK. YOU TAKE OFF THE TAIL, AND SHE’S GOT LEGS!”

5. my NES. oh, man. who DIDN’T love their nintendo? my uncle used to hook me up with games from the pawn shop, and i played them like crazy…t&c surf design and galaga, yeah, son. i remember getting mario 3 for christmas. i played it NONSTOP. i was OBSESSED. it still is probably my favorite game ever. when i got my game boy, i borrowed metroid 2 from my uncle and never gave it back. =/ i played the tiny toon adventures game like crazy, too.

6. fake food and kitchen set. i loved “cooking” for my parents. i even had a pot that had “soup” in it and little boxes of “waffle mix” and stuff. i remember devising this plan that if i ever had a note sent home that my parents were required to sign (a BAD note), i would simply “cook” for them that night and play waitress…even down to submitting a “bill” for them to “pay” and sign. haha. forgery at age 4! i never had to do it, though.

honorable mentions:

littlest pet shops, polly pocket, cherry merry muffin, cupcake dolls, lady lovelylocks, baby dolls, easy bake oven, popples, carebears (i have a replica of the one i had when i was little), lost & found crying stuffed animals (mine was a lamb), the ends of my mama’s old makeup, teddy ruxpin & grubby, &go go my walking pup.

Originally published at skankage.com. Please leave any comments there.

drew and i got nostalgic tonight and dug out old band DVDs (thanks to my mom’s hard work this weekend, i now have band videos transferred to DVDs) and my copy of our graduation. now, i remember this one particular part of drew’s speech as valedictorian (he REALLY didn’t want to give a speech), but since i sat behind him during the address, i didn’t catch the “fuck this” Look he gave at the end. i put it on youtube for all to laugh at and enjoy.

Originally published at skankage.com. Please leave any comments there.

i was in the hospital. and around 9:30am on this very date, i was wheeled back to the operating room where i had my very first real surgery, an appendectomy.

one year later, i’ve obviously recovered, but my scar still itches like crazy from time to time, and i can still see where the staples were. furthermore, it still feels awkward to tighten the muscles of that area. weird, huh? it’s been a whole year and it’s still strange.

i can’t believe it’s been a year. i kind of miss the dark, quiet, safe feeling of the hospital room at night. or maybe it’s just the demerol i miss. lol.

Originally published at skankage.com. Please leave any comments there.

so i just watched flight 93 on hbo. i absolutely fucking lost it at the end. i sat and sobbed for minutes after it was over, my head in my hands the entire time. if i were in logic class right now, lavonna would say that this movie, albeit based on a tragedy, is loaded with fallacies…particularly the appeal to pity. but fuck fallacies. it is SAD. it is a sad, fucked thing, and it really happened. i found myself overwhelmed with grief all over again. when they “captured” the 2 hijackers, i found myself cheering inside and wanting to gouge those hijackers’ eyeballs out.

the memories of 9/11 came flooding back when i watched this. obviously, my 9/11 experience was much more humble than the tragic ones shown in the movie, but every american has their own personal story of that day. i’ve told mine on this blog before, a few years back. it’s not that interesting, but it lives in my mind as if it weren’t 5 years ago but just a few weeks ago. images of 9/11 still affect me tremendously– the videos of the burning, collapsing world trade center…the jumping people…the plane hitting the tower…the smoking pentagon…the smoking skyline of new york city…the rubble of the crash site in pennsylvania– everytime i see these images, i get rather emotional.

where the hell is osama? we’ve been asking that for over 5 years now, and nobody seems to care about him anymore.

Originally published at skankage.com. Please leave any comments there.

out of boredom tonight, i was looking at the polly pockets and the littlest pet shops in the toy aisle at walmart. and i was thinking…they sure didn’t look like this crap when i was little. in fact, i’d forgotten how a lot of them looked. so i looked on ebay for old polly pocket sets and old littlest pet shop sets. i was thrilled with my findings. it was like taking a trip down memory lane again! i also looked for those cupcake dolls (their hats were the tops of the cupcakes and their skirts were the bottom) that you folded up into cupcakes…and sure enough, they had those, too (very few of them, but they were there). i found these earrings under the polly section, and i’m seriously considering buying them. she also has these earrings for sale, too, but the first pair are my favorites. i think these are an EXCELLENT representation of nostalgia for 90’s girls. not a joke. i am so excited. i really want those earrings.

there’s one polly pocket i’d really like to have in my possession again. it was really fat and in the shape of a pink heart. it had a castle on the inside, along with a princess polly and her prince and a carriage. the castle lit up, too. i LOVED that thing. i found it on there, but it was missing the dolls. i know that it’s absolutely silly to spend money on shit like this, but sometimes you just have to have a piece of your childhood to hang on to, y’know? when they came out with those new carebears, i bought a replica of the exact same one i had when i was little– that tealish/greenish bear with the smiling star on its tummy (wish bear). sometimes i wonder if my obsession with my childhood is ridiculous and pathetic, but i guess everyone does this from time to time.

Originally published at skankage.com. Please leave any comments there.

i just found two old computer games i used to play like crazy:

1. mario teaches typing, the program that taught me how to type.
2. titanic: adventure out of time, the game i played for half a year and halfassedly finished before i gave up on it. i also found the music available for download at this site. as soon as i clicked it, the memories all came flooding back, so you bet your bottom dollar i’ve been downloading away.
3. and don’t forget storybook weaver. oh, how i’d kill to make a story on this one more time.
4. opening night. god, i had so much fun with this thing, especially since you could make the characters talk…you could make your computer say “fart knocker” and “shit head!” an 11-year-old never had so much fun.
5. are you afraid of the dark: the tale of orpheo’s curse. holy fucking shit. i have never in my life been more terrified by a video game. i can remember me and erin’s screams the first time the mummy popped up and got us. this was a scary fuckin’ game!
6. the 7th guest. yet another game i couldn’t play after dark because it used to scare the living daylights out of me. i remember how creepy the music alone was…man, i wish they’d bring this stuff back!
7. chip’s challenge. it was the ultimate cure for boredom when the internet was down. bring it back, microsoft! man.

do any of you guys remember these games? and oh yeah, i’ve decided on this year’s halloween costume: i am definitely going to be carmen sandiego.