#1, i think my hard drive is going to kick the bucket soon. it’s been making more noticeable noises and my computer’s running really slow no matter what i do. i’ll probably start backing stuff up as soon as i get home. *groan* i wish i had

#2, denise is moving to valdosta this weekend, and i am so super excited. we’ve been talking more lately and don’t know why we didn’t hang out more when i lived in douglas. but now she’s coming to valdosta, so i get to see her again. yay!

i had some weird dreams last night. they were mostly about the office. i met up with john krasinski and told him that for halloween, he should go as jim, obviously, and i would go as pam, and it would be awesome because i had the real jim with me. he told me he had other obligations. i was kind of sad, so i changed my mind and decided to go as mose, complete with the “FEAR” shirt and beard. and then suddenly, i WAS mose on the schrute beet farm, standing next to some farmhouse sinks, waiting around for dwight to bring ryan in so he could wrestle me…”fear.” what the crap?!

then i dreamt about family guy. well, apparently, there was some episode i was dead-set on everyone seeing, so i made sure to youtube it and show it to everyone. it was another one of those “this is worse than the time peter…” scenes. i don’t remember anything else.

um, it’s after noon now, i should probably get ready so i can go about my daily business. yyyyeah.

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on thursday night, i had a pete dream. in it, he was taller than me, which was really strange. it was a good dream, though, but always the same kind of dream where in it, i know he’s gone and i’m confused as to how he got here, but i accept it and enjoy it anyway. the same kind of thing happened last night where, in my dream, my uncle suddenly died and everyone else knew but my family. this dream really bothers me because i hate any dreams that involve death occurring, and i always feel the need to tell someone about the dream so it won’t happen…? maybe that’s just superstition on my behalf, i guess…? anyway. also in my dream, bart came over to my grandma’s house to console us. like my pete dream, i knew bart was gone and i was confused again. he was the healthier bart (before he got sick), and he wrapped me in his arms and said, “hey, girl,” in his big voice. it was the best feeling. i just cried and cried because i did not want to let him go.

why do i keep dreaming about special people who have passed away? man, it’s just weird.

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i am such an old lady. =P and i even did my homework before i went to sleep. lol. but man, it was some good sleep!

so, of course, i have to share one of my dreams last night with the world. i actually just made a category for “dreams.” proud of me? =P

so i dreamt about hell last night. it went along with dante’s inferno…there were levels of hell for each type of deadly sin. but it was actually really awesome, see…because for gluttony, there were doughnuts and mcdonald’s everywhere and it didn’t matter if you ate a lot of them and got fat because you were dead, anyway. and then for lust, there were lots of hot people to have sex with, and it didn’t matter if you got AIDS or STDs because you were dead, anyway. and then for sloth, there were lots of people sleeping and being lazy and watching TV and getting fat, and it didn’t matter because you were dead, anyway!

that might be one of the funniest dreams i’ve ever had. today around 3ish, i have to go with my aunt beth to the grocery store to pick up some stuff for grandma’s birthday dinner tomorrow. we’re having CHICKEN POT PIE. i am so excited. lol. i’ve seriously wanted some chicken pot pie since i saw sweeney todd. i’m not joking! you have an entire half of a movie praising mrs. lovett’s meat pies and pretty soon, you’re wanting some damned meat in your pies, too.

[that's what she said.]

i’m feeling incredibly witty today. ever had one of those days? i feel god in this chili’s.

for some reason, youtube directs me now to canada’s youtube automatically. but i kind of like it because of the slight differences; they spell “favorite” as “favourite,” and there’s a tiny canadian flag in the upper right corner. SARAH, um, excuse me, lady ma’am, but i want to come to canada to see you. MARK, can we work something out? a road trip to canada? ANYBODY ELSE, wanna give me some money so i can go to freakin’ canada finally? i’ll need another $100 for a passport, too, i think now. blargh, united states and terrorism. [*waits to get put on the 'watch list' for that one, as well.* i'm sure i've been on there since 2003.]

ANYWAY, so mark posted this clip for his amigos and now i’m posting it for you. this makes me incredibly happy.

samantha, jade…aren’t you loving my blog posts now? oh, skankage, you were deserted for so long, but no more, my friend. no longer will i leave you desolate and lacking entries!

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i dreamt 2 little hispanic boys were throwing rocks at my car, and i grabbed them by their hair to find christie at work and tell her to call their mama. these little boys also had 2 cats they were planning to use somehow or another, and i had the cats under each arm while i dragged those little boys around from their hair. they were really mad at me, but i told them they shouldn’t have pelted my car with fuckin’ rocks in the first place and we wouldn’t even be in the situation. those little shits.

i wonder why they were hispanic? and wtf were the cats for?

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in it, pete had died, but he was found to be alive after all (how days of our lives/passions-esque, eh? it’s definitely something james reilly would write…pete probably planned on me having this dream; he loved that marlena-possessing bastard.). however, he had only a week to spend on earth before he would have to leave it. either way, we still were allowed to give our proper goodbyes and hang out with him one last time.

i remember asking him questions i’ve always had: what’s heaven like? did it hurt to die? and he said he didn’t remember dying. he felt like he’d been asleep for a long time. then he added that his dad “wouldn’t wake up,” and he got teary-eyed. i don’t know what that means, because to my knowledge, you don’t die again in heaven. he didn’t seem to want to talk about the afterlife, so i avoided those questions and decided we should enjoy our time left together.

so we rode around. we sang, we joked, we laughed, we cried. it was just like all the other times pete and i had during the length of our friendship– it was so happy. we went to see nicole, and nicole didn’t know he’d come back to life, so he called her on my cell phone and told her he was coming over, and to our disappointment, she wasn’t scared shitless like we figured she’d be, she was surprised and welcoming and happy, like she knew all along that he was bound to come back sometime or another.

i remember telling him how much i love him and how i missed him while he was gone. i can’t remember if i told him or not of the great impact he had on my life just by being my friend, but i hope he knows today.

i miss his laugh. i miss his jokes. i miss his voice. i miss his singing. i miss his wit. i miss his intelligence. i miss his hugs. i miss his sweaty little hands. =( i think i’m going to cry.

pete died 3 weeks ago today. it still doesn’t seem real.

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i feel like it should be cold outside, and i don’t know why. but man, i wish it were. i am so tired of this heat.

i dreamt last night that i prostituted myself to galen gering, the actor who plays luis on passions. and galen got somebody to film it. after we did it, i was like…omg, i just cheated on thomas. =O and i was trying to think of how to tell him. and lexie (from days) was there, lol. and i was like…LEXIE OMGAH I CHEATED ON THOMAS WITH LUIS. and she was like, “i’m going to blackmail you with that.” and i begged her not to, but that bitch did anyway. stupid lexie, blah. but anyways, yeah.

it’s pretty sad when you dream about soap opera characters. this is like, the 50th soap dream i’ve had, but i think it’s the first that combined passions and days characters.

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according to the weather channel, it’s currently 99 degrees and it feels like 102 outside. welcome to south georgia.

there’s a thunderstorm on the way, according to the doppler and the rumbles of thunder that keep sounding outside. beau’s content chewing on a small dentabone i gave him, but tiger’s absolutely freaking out; he hates storms. i think i’m gonna give him a pill.

by the way, where in the hell are my hurricanes? we’ve only seen ONE so far, and it was just a tropical storm. by this time last year, we were on our E’s. wtf, mate. =/

i dreamt last night i went to mercer and lived with nicole. in my dream, i’d parked my car outside the library in this huge parking lot, but i got mixed up and couldn’t find my car.

i’ll try to post pictures from the past week sometime later, but since there are a lot, the possibility that i’ll get too lazy to post them is relatively high.

fin!

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the temperature outside is currently 98 degrees, but honestly, it feels like 104 or something. it’s humid and there’s hardly a breeze or a cloud in the sky. ridiculous. it was like, 96 this morning at 11, too. f you, south georgia.

i dreamt last night i got bitten on the ankle by a gigantic rainbow spider from the amazon.

i’m kind of sleepy, and all i’ve done is sit around all day long and watch family guy. i honestly feel kind of bad for being so lazy, but i really don’t have anything else to do.

SLEEPY. omg ughhh.

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i really don’t feel like getting dressed and ready to go to church. i’d just kind of like to go back to sleep.

i dreamt last night that my aunt theresa almost died, but this mortician brought her back to life…and there was water and blood everywhere (and i had to walk in it) from where he’d previously drained her body…but she was alive and okay. then we announced it the next day in church that she’d died and come back to life, and these kids kept talking during the announcement, so my mom went medieval on their asses. and then i was in the condo in fernandina (although it looked nothing like the condo) and there was a roach on the table, so i called the exterminator, who was this big black guy who sprinkled oats outside to keep the roaches away. and then i was in a pool, and thomas was there. i told him that i could win a photography contest with some picture nicole and i took of us looking sexy in a pool. and he was like…omg wow!

and i’m thinking…the sexiest picture (and the ONLY picture) i have of me and nicole in the pool is

i know i only dreamt that about the photo contest because of that manga shit i was reading last night. but it was all one, big, weird dream.

and yeah, i guess i should go get ready for church now.

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so last night, i dreamt this dream that was pretty much continuous. here it goes…

first, i was walking along with nicole in a forest. we were taking a shortcut to her house (she doesn’t live anywhere near a forest), and i saw these two little squirming things at the bottom of a tree. i noticed they had two big, curved claws on every foot. i started freaking out (in a good way). nicole was like, “wtf, that is so ugly.” and i was like…”NICOLE, IT’S A SLOTH BABY!!!” so i took it home and took care of it. and i KNOW i dreamt this because yesterday, this woman came to the library looking for stuff on how to take care of baby squirrels. and before i went to bed, samantha and i were talking about sloths. i read up on them some on wikipedia and discovered that sometimes their babies fall out of the trees and they don’t die from the FALL, but they die from the parents’ unwillingness to go and rescue them. lol, that is so horrible. but yeah, yay, i had some sloths!

…and i just decided the rest of my dream wasn’t really worth publishing for the public to see, so now i’m going to complete the much-postponed chore of cleaning my room.

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ever had one of those dreams where you wake up, realize it’s just a dream, fall back asleep, and the dream continues? that’s what just happened to me. and it was an awful dream.

i keep having dreams of my parents’ deaths. it’s very scary, since i’m extremely close to my parents. in my dream, my daddy died. i don’t know how or what caused his death, but he died. he was buried somewhere in kentucky, in cemetery that was placed in this beautiful spot. his grave was at the far end of the cemetery, and mama had already put mementos and candles and everything on it (they already had the headstone up and everything).

i had cried so much, i was numb, and so was mama. in my dream, though, my daddy was still there in spirit form, laughing and joking around and telling everyone his goodbyes. i could hear his voice, clear as day. so i kept telling myself that this wasn’t really happening, that he wasn’t dead, and he was coming back.

when daddy told me goodbye, i sobbed. he told me to take care of myself and my mother, and he called me “koo-koo,” his old nickname for me when i was little. i cried and cried.

it was so real. it was so sad. i’m still really freaked out.

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i dreamt last night that i was riding a golf cart to school.

then i dreamt that bush was giving his state of the union speech and i stood up in the middle of him and questioned him about his views on abortion. my mini-speech ended with me yelling out that all women had the right to a choice, and that safe and legal abortions should be provided everywhere in the united states.

everyone applauded. i sat down. georgie was stunned.

it was a good dream.

it is too fuckin’ early. this breakfast better be worth it.

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nobody ever asked me any questions for that 10 questions thing. haha. oh well.

i missed this layout. i was sick of the gwen one. i used to have all my layouts saved as a text file so i could just copy and paste it. well, when my hard drive died, so did my layouts, so the only ones i have left are ashlee and gwen. i miss my nellie mckay one…i’m just too lazy to figure it all out again.

i don’t wanna roooock. (rock!) djjjj. (dee-jay!) cuz you’re makin’ me feel so niiiice. when’s it gonna stopppp. (stop!) djjjj. (dee-jaayyyy!) cuz you’re keepin’ me up all night.

what should i do today? something constructive. hmm. laundry, yes, but oh, how i loathe laundry.

i dreamt last night that all of thomas’ friends lived in the same neighborhood and this bear came out of nowhere and started biting my hand. and levi was like, “you must have some food on you,” all the while i was screaming and freaking out. and then van wyk was there and we were all in a pool for class and he dropped some of those rubber bracelets and let them sink to the bottom of the pool (which they WOULDN’T sink, i don’t think? but it was a dream, and in MY dreams, nothing makes sense), then he told us to get them and hold on to them. then he got mad at summer and megan for talking and told them to move to the back of the pool. then i was in clay’s house and i had to pee. and the bathroom had this huge window in front of it and for some reason or another, i totally wasn’t paying attention to it, and the bathroom faced stuart’s house, and they all could see me.

i swear to god, these things all happened spontaneously like that in my dream.

i’m gonna go talk to my mommy now. adios.

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i dreamt last night that the black-eyed peas died in a plane crash. =( where in the HELL would the world be without fergie and will.i.am?!?!?!?! god bless.

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stolen from www.adam-pascal.com

look at him. ohmygod. *melts* i dreamt last night that he kept calling me and begging me to come to new york. i was on my way when the dream ended.

you know, he really is beautiful with short hair, and i’ve always thought so, but when he showed up in the RENT movie with long hair, my heart officially melted for him. he is so fucking gorgeous.

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i just woke up from

in my dream, i came home late one saturday night, like about 3am-ish, and i just went to bed like any other saturday night. i woke up sunday morning and daddy was on the phone with people and rushing around. and i was like, “where’s mama?” and daddy sat me down, and he said, “catie, your mother had a heart attack last night. she didn’t make it.”

WHAT?

so i started freaking out. and then i was like, no way…there is no way this is happening. so for the ENTIRE dream, i was in denial, even when i saw my mother in her casket, i was still in denial.

the realization hit me about a week later. it was homecoming week in coffee county, and i was making a sign for her classroom, just to be nice, ya know. some kind of “HOMECOMING 2005″ or whatever sign. who knows why. okay, so when i got done with the sign, i sat back and looked at it and thought, “wait a minute. why am i doing this? she isn’t alive anymore.”

with those words, it hit me. and i knew i was about to break down. i needed someone to talk to.

i was getting my hair cut that day, and i went to geri (the lady who cuts my hair and a friend of my mother’s), nearly at the point of destruction. and geri was getting ready to cut my hair, and i said with a quivering lip, “you know about my mama, right?”

“no, what happened?”

“she died.”

and the tears surged. and the sobs hit me so hard. and i had a full-out emotional breakdown. i don’t think any ativan could’ve taken care of it. i kept sobbing to geri, “she had a heart attack last week. she died. geri, she is NEVER coming back. i will NEVER see her AGAIN.” and geri just stood there in shock.

and then i woke up, and i started crying. that was the worst dream ever. ever had a dream that was so realistic, you had to thoroughly convince yourself that it was NOT real once you woke up? yeah, see, that happened to me. so i picked up the phone, called my mother at work, and was finally convinced when i heard her voice that it was not real. i told her the basics of my dream and that i loved her, and she reassured me that the doctor said her heart is okay now.

that was awful. just so awful. omg.

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estimated grand total for this semester’s books: $90. ;) i love amazon.com and loaned books.

today has been a weird day. it started off with

both my maternal and paternal grandfathers died before i was born, one in 1980 and the other in 1979, respectively. i’ve never dreamt about either one before, but last night, i dreamt about my grandfather, J.R. (bob) dedmond, or mama’s daddy. in the dream, my mom and i were going to put flowers on his grave in the city cemetery. it was about midnight and of course, it was really dark and creepy in the cemetery, but i wasn’t at all afraid. mama carried a plant with her, and i carried two long-stemmed roses that were of a light peach color. i remember that everytime i would set them down on something, they would die a little more, so i was anxious to put them on his grave while they were still alive and pretty. in my dream, we were walking through the cemetery to his gravesite, and all of a sudden, the hallelujah chorus began to play and all the ghosts of the cemetery appeared, raising their hands to the sky in praise. i wasn’t scared, i was just amazed. i kept telling mama to look at them, but she didn’t know what i was talking about b/c i was the only one who could see them. it was actually very beautiful, and in my dream, i was crying because i was so moved by the faith people held even when they had passed away. when we got to grandpa’s grave, i lay down my roses and mama put the plant down. grandma (who never visits grandpa’s grave [i think it's still emotionally too hard for her]) had put a photo of grandpa on his grave, but it wasn’t any of the pictures i always see of him; it was a picture of him in the hospital after he’d had his stroke, and he looked very sick. there was a little photo album she’d also put on his grave that had pictures of him and his kids, him and grandma, and him and me. like i said, this was strange b/c he died 5 years before i was born, and i remember thinking about that in my dream. then i woke up.

this dream bothered me b/c i have never met my grandpa, nor have i ever dreamt about him. the hallelujah chorus was my grandpa’s favorite piece of music, i do know that, so that’s got some relevance to real life. but what bothered me most of all was the date.

my grandpa died on august 21, 1980. i had this dream in the early morning hours of august 23, 2005…25 years after his death.

i honestly believe that my grandfather was trying to communicate with me through this dream somehow (i totally believe in that kind of stuff…i’m an avid unsolved mysteries viewer, lol). the question is, why was he talking to me when he never met me, and what was he trying to tell me? i wonder if he’s mad b/c nobody really paid any attention to the 25th anniversary of his death. i sure hope not, that’ll make me feel very bad. mama said she thinks he was trying to tell me he’s still a part of my life even though we never met because he’s always watching over me. i think that’s a very good thing to think.

after my creepy dream, i called mama up to tell her about it, then i called my aunt beth to tell her, too. then beth told me that my uncle jim broke up with jamie yesterday. we’re all really mad at him, and jamie is so upset. i called her awhile ago and she sounded just awful. i wish i could go hug her and bake her cupcakes. =(

my social problems class is gonna be cool. leila and i had breakfast afterwards at bobby’s. it was good, and i’m glad leila and i got to talk. i was pissed off when i got to my spanish class b/c i was already running late and when i got to the original location of the class, there was a note on the door, telling me to go to the union. grrr. so i had to find a parking spot for that one. is it just me, or is sgc EXTREMELY overcrowded this year? shit.

the GSA meeting went very well today, and thanks to the fags, the GSA/dems room is cute. i hope this year will be a lot better than last year. i’m glad SOME people weren’t at that meeting today.

work is gonna be interesting today. board meeting tonight; cross your fingers, kids! ;)

out. <3

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i dreamt the other night i was the leading role in a broadway musical, and i forgot my lines as i got on stage. i was scared to death, but i made them up, and people still loved me.

i still wonder sometimes after all these years if broadway is indeed my calling.

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I DREAMT LAST NIGHT THAT I WAS DOING STUDY ABROAD IN IRAQ.

and in my dream, miguel was with me (why do you keep popping up in my dreams, miguel? it must be b/c we’re destined to be together; i knew it.), and we had to stay in this dorm thing, ya know. and it was actually nice where we were staying. we were about 2 miles from the actual center of all the crime and troops and all that bullshit. and in my dream, i was videotaping these trees outside my window b/c i LOVED how they looked when they blew in the breeze. i called them joshua trees, although they looked NOTHING like joshua trees. while i was filming the trees, miguel was like, “LOOK AT THIS CUTE PUPPY. CATIE, FILM THE PUPPY!!!” so i had to film this weird-looking dog so miguel would shut up. and then i filmed on this HUGE crater that was a little ways down from our dorm, and i was like, “hey, look at this, i think we did this a few weeks ago.” (’we’ referring to the US.)

haha. wtf weird yo.

so tonight i went to hazlehurst and it was fun. i spent my evening with caucy brown, and i love her. =D